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How does having a sibling with autism affect you?
Having a sibling with autism can shape a child’s world, sometimes in challenging and often in beautifully unexpected ways. Families navigating autism quickly discover that the experience doesn’t affect only the child receiving services; it touches everyone, especially the brothers and sisters growing up alongside them.
Many parents wonder, “How does having a sibling with autism affect you?” The answer varies widely. Some children become naturally empathetic and patient. Others experience confusion, jealousy, pressure, or even guilt. Most experience a mix of both positive and complex emotions, which is entirely normal. What matters most is giving siblings space, understanding, and tools to feel supported rather than overlooked.
This blog by ABA Centers of New Jersey explores what siblings may experience emotionally and socially, what the research says about developmental risks, and, most importantly, how parents and caregivers can strengthen family dynamics through meaningful sibling support, open communication, and access to services like early intervention and ABA therapy.
Understanding the Experience of Growing Up With a Sibling With Autism
According to Autism Speaks, siblings of children with autism often experience a blend of unique responsibilities and emotional growth, including compassion, resilience, and maturity. But they may also feel confused by meltdowns, disappointed by disrupted routines, or uncertain about how to connect with a brother or sister who communicates differently.
The National Autistic Society also highlights that siblings may feel embarrassed, protective, frustrated, or proud, sometimes all in the same day.
Parents often notice:
- The sibling becomes a “little helper,” trying hard to ease daily challenges
- The child may struggle when plans change due to therapies or sensory needs
- They may feel as though they receive less attention, even when parents do their best to distribute it evenly
- Some siblings worry about the future and their role in caregiving
Families are not alone in this. Countless households navigating autism share these experiences.
The Dynamics of Having a Sibling With Autism: What Research Reveals
Your sibling with autism shapes family rhythms, from communication patterns to how holidays, outings, or routines unfold. Current research confirms that the neurodiversity of one child can influence the development of others in unique ways.
Autism Siblings and Developmental Risk
A study from UC Davis found that siblings of children with autism have an estimated 20% likelihood of also being diagnosed with autism, a higher rate than previously assumed. This statistic doesn’t mean something is “wrong,” but it does mean parents and educators should pay attention to developmental markers and behaviors early on.
This data helps families:
- Understand why early screening is valuable for all siblings
- Recognize the genetic and environmental patterns at play
- Normalize differences and reduce stigma within the household
Emotional and Social Impact
Children with a sibling with autism may develop:
- Increased empathy and acceptance of differences
- Strong advocacy instincts
- A deep understanding of neurodiversity
But some may also face:
- Stress from unpredictable behaviors
- Difficulty inviting friends over
- Worry about public outings or reactions from others
Acknowledging both sides doesn’t minimize the love between siblings; it honors the reality of their experience.
Autism Siblings: Common Challenges and How Parents Can Help
The term autism siblings refers to neurotypical children in a household with an autistic brother or sister. These children may shoulder emotional, social, or even practical responsibilities that feel heavier than what peers experience. But with support, they can thrive.
Challenge 1: Feeling Invisible or Overlooked
It’s common for siblings to interpret therapy appointments, safety concerns, or communication difficulties as signs that their needs matter less. Parents can counteract this by:
- Setting aside “sibling-only” time
- Giving their child a safe space to talk about feelings, even negative ones
- Acknowledging openly when the household’s focus has shifted out of necessity
Challenge 2: Confusion About Autism
Younger children may not understand why their sibling behaves differently. They may ask:
- “Why does he cover his ears?”
- “Why doesn’t she talk to me?”
- “Why does he get angry so fast?”
When parents explain autism using simple, honest language, siblings feel less confused and more empowered. Resources from ABA Centers of New Jersey provide child-friendly explanations that parents can use.
Challenge 3: Pressure to Be “the Easy One”
Many siblings strive to compensate for challenges within the home by avoiding conflict or taking on extra responsibility. Parents can help by reassuring them:
- They don’t have to be perfect
- Their feelings are valid
- Their role is to be a sibling, not a co-parent
Sibling Support: Tools to Foster Connection and Stronger Family Dynamics
Meaningful sibling support doesn’t require dramatic changes. It’s about intentional, consistent actions that help the sibling feel valued, confident, and connected.
- Practice Open Communication
Invite siblings to share concerns or questions. A few helpful prompts:
- “What’s the hardest part about your week?”
- “What do you wish other people understood about your sibling?”
- “What can I do to support you better?”
Communication turns confusion into clarity and resentment into connection.
- Encourage Shared Play in Small Steps
Siblings may want to play but feel unsure how to initiate a connection, especially if the sibling with autism has limited communication or sensory differences.
Start with activities that suit both children, such as:
- Reading together
- Water play
- Parallel play (side-by-side activities)
- Simple games like bubbles or blocks
Even brief interactions build familiarity and strengthen relationships.
- Teach Age-Appropriate Boundaries
Siblings benefit from learning:
- They are allowed to have their own space
- They can say no to play or interaction
- They don’t have to share everything
These boundaries help both children feel safe and respected.
- Create Family Routines Where Everyone Has a Role
Simple rituals like Sunday breakfasts, nature walks, or movie nights help siblings feel included. Routines reduce resentment and increase family cohesion.
How ABA Therapy Supports Both the Child With Autism and the Sibling
ABA therapy is widely known for supporting children with autism in communication, behavior regulation, sensory skills, and daily living. But what many families don’t realize is how much ABA also improves family dynamics, including sibling relationships.
ABA Helps Reduce Household Stress
When a child learns emotional regulation, communication tools, or play skills through ABA therapy, siblings often experience:
- Fewer meltdowns
- More predictable routines
- Better ways to interact and play
- Decreased tension during shared family activities
ABA Gives Siblings a Blueprint for Connection
Board Certified Behavior Analysts (BCBAs) often show parents and siblings strategies such as:
- Using visual supports
- Modeling clear communication
- Reinforcing positive interactions
- Understanding sensory needs
When siblings understand these tools, they feel more confident and less frustrated.
Early Intervention Benefits Everyone
Early intervention supports the autistic child’s development during critical growth periods, but it also helps siblings:
- Understand autism from an early age
- Engage meaningfully during play
- Reduce friction during daily routines
- Build a relationship based on mutual understanding rather than confusion
In many homes, early intervention and ABA therapy are what make harmony, and not just coexistence, possible.
Celebrating the Strengths of Autism Siblings
Children who grow up with a sibling with autism often develop remarkable qualities, including:
- Adaptability
- Empathy
- Creative communication
- Patience
- Resilience
- A deep appreciation for neurodiversity
These strengths follow them into adulthood and enrich their relationships, emotional intelligence, and worldview.
Recognizing and celebrating these qualities reinforces their self-esteem and validates their essential role in the family.
Building a Supportive Home for Every Child
Having a sibling with autism is a journey that is full of love, learning, and complexity. Siblings need space to grow, express themselves, and feel valued, not overshadowed. Through open communication, thoughtful routines, and support structures like ABA therapy and early intervention, families can create a nurturing, balanced environment where every child thrives.
If you are looking for guidance, emotional support, diagnostic testing, or autism services for your family, ABA Centers of New Jersey is here to help.
Reach out today by calling us at (855) 640-7888 or connecting online to learn how we can support your entire family, including the siblings who walk this journey with so much strength and heart.
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